My friend wrote a poem but it was given to me with no title. I thought of The Eyrie when reading it, so I made the title Moon Door. Do check it out (here) and leave some love a.k.a. comment there. 

I have met a lot of people from the internet. It might be weird for others (only to those who live under a rock and don’t often use internet probably), but in a way, some of my internet friends know me more than those I know in “offline life” (I refuse to call it real life because if it is real life, what does that make the internet? Fake life? Which is not at all).

Kyoko of Brain Food talks about. And damn, she talks about it well. 

brain-food:

I mean, after blogging here for four years I’ve maintained a high enough privacy fence between me and the internet world. Granted, i’m very open about how I feel about certain things and certain people, and for the most part nobody is named and I like keeping faces off here. But when my real life friends find my blog, it complicates things. Not in a bad way complicated, it just opens up doors that I wanted to remain closed. 

With them, things are simple. I’m simple. I hang out with all these young twenty-two year old skater/surfer guys and all these really artistic young women and honestly all we do is just skate and hang out. We don’t really talk about each other’s feelings, we don’t dabble into one another’s family issues, and when we hang out nothing else really exists. Does that make sense? With them it’s like doing yoga for me. They know what I do, they know what i’m into but we don’t get into it. And I love that. I love that with my friends outside of the internet I can just fuck around, skate, surf, bullshit, have fun, and see them that following weekend, or for lunch that week. The only expectation they have of me is showing up ready to skate. 

Here, i’m me. Everything on the inside, everything I am, everything that creates me is this blog. It’s written all over in my blog entries. I always said if you wanted to know me,  find my tumblr. But if you wanted to enjoy me, meet me in real life. You would think I would want people to have the best of both worlds, to have access to both knowing and enjoying my accompany. But its a lot of work. I’m not perfect, and most of the time, especially off the computer, I don’t want to talk about things. Mainly, my feelings. 

So when my friends from the non internet world start reading who I am on the internet world, they want to start talking about things. They want to connect deeper and on a different level, and although I can appreciate the closeness, its something I didn’t want.  The simple time I became appreciative of and helped ground me as a person, starts becoming complicated, and expectations start getting raised. And believe me, I realize how selfish that sounds, but its the truth.